Amanda, pictured left, wrote this blog for Trans Day Of Visibility 2023

"When I was first diagnosed in 2003, I struggled to come to terms with it. I had nobody to talk to because my family and friends were transphobic and homophobic so I just suppressed it. I hid it from my partner, from everyone. I was scared, I couldn’t see myself living past a certain age because of the horror stories of the 1980s.

Between 2015 and 2020, I went through a lot of changes. I split up with my partner and got a flat but I couldn’t properly transition because the people around me didn’t accept me. One of my neighbours was transphobic and homophobic and turned the community against me. I was hit with an iron bar but the police didn’t do anything and I eventually ended up in prison due to lies my neighbour told. In prison, I was struggling with alcohol and drug addiction, and wasn’t given the right clothes for my gender or my HIV medication. My neighbour broke into my house and stole my belongings while I was in prison, and I lost my vehicles.

In October 2020, I was released and made the decision to walk out of Strangeways a new person. I changed my name, my gender, my living situation and my outlook on life.

My doctor recommended George House Trust to me and I’d always wanted to go because I’d never met anyone like me before. I met Josh and Yvonne, who run the women’s group there, and realised that there was a real HIV community at George House Trust.

I did a course to build up my self-respect and confidence there. Everything felt a lot better, like a breath of fresh air, because I didn’t have to explain to anyone that I was living with HIV. I was paired with a brilliant peer mentor who helped increase my confidence and self-esteem. He also recommended some self-help groups I could go to for support.

It was so nice to meet other people living with HIV. I met a woman who also comes to George House Trust at my bloods appointment – I really appreciated that social aspect and peer support.

I feel so much better and more confident now. Before I just felt trapped.

Living with HIV as a transwoman was difficult because I couldn’t see past each week. Dealing with HIV and gender dysphoria made it hard to get up in the morning. There is so much ignorance and stigma around both HIV and trans people.

The women’s group at George House Trust made me feel really welcome. It was a trans-inclusive safe space for me.

I was able to share my experiences of taking hormones and HIV medication with women who were considering HRT. Other emotions and experiences we’ve gone through are really similar too.

I’d never know anyone else living with HIV. By coming to George House Trust, I’ve met other women living with HIV - women who are so open.

Now, HIV is in the background, it’s on the back burner.

Amanda - March 31st 2023